Wednesday, December 22, 2010

sensible is over rated

I braved a bordering on riotous Westfield to finish my Christmas shopping tonight, allowing sweaty strangers to completely eradicate any sense of my personal space, potentially maxing out multiple credit cards and managing to run over my own toe with a shopping trolley resulting in a near amputation. As I panted like a pregnant woman, my eyes welling up with tears from the pain of my injury, I considered myself a christmas martyr and thought "what the hell am I doing?!" Nothing about Christmas is sensible. We spend multiple hours searching for a car space, we spend multiple hours trying to exit that car space, we celebrate the kamikaze beetles which attack upon the turning of our key at the front door, we eat lollies that taste like tooth paste and are shaped like an old mans walking stick (and pretend they are delicious), a certain group of revolutionists even dress up their cars as wild deer. Sensible? No. Brilliant? Yes. I am completely in love with the season which is all about lavishing gifts on loved ones, gathering around a table for a meal, taking time out for what really matters, showing people how important they are  and remembering that there is a Hope for humanity... all of which makes it the most wonderful time of the year.

Monday, November 29, 2010

mustaches are ID badges for weirdos

Well thank bloody goodness its nearing the end of November and those creepy oversized caterpillars which have been adorning the upper lips of men all over the world are about to be slaughtered. I mean no disrespect to the cause whatsoever as I believe it to be most worthy... but must we involve the mustache? We all know that mustaches are ID badges for weirdos but when they are in such high population how am I to filter the wheat from the chaff of the male population? I am welcoming December with open arms not just for Christmas lunch, summer holidays, family time and beach trips but for the return of clean shaven men to my world.

take a chance and grab my hand


When you're a twenty something, the simplicity and excitement of love can be gone in a flash. As soon as I hit the big two zero every living being felt as though they had been given the personal mission of being my relationship mentor. I have received advice ranging from not using capitals in any non verbal communication as to avoid looking too desperate, to buying him certain edible treats to give him the "green light", to not replying to any communication for three days, to positioning myself in his eye line so he will notice me. Frankly, it wears me out having to remember all these "tips" let alone beginning to implement them. As for me, I want a simple love. Take a chance and just grab my hand. Write me a letter and you'll have my heart. I'm more scared than you I promise.

miserable much?

Today I read "pain is not optional, but misery is" and I felt like someone was nail filing my rough little heart down. The thing is I've been a bit of a misery guts lately - sure I've got my nice face on when encountering the world, but as of stepping through my front door at night I morph into an evil witch from hell identity - not so pleasant for those who share my house. If I'm not miserable about the man of my dreams not slaying every girl in his sight to get to me, then its the fact that I'm not living in my dream apartment or that I'm not close enough to work or I don't have enough clothes or I'm not the right weight, I'm not, I don't, I'm not, I don't... the list of ridiculously insignificant justifications for my misery is endless. But tonight I was reminded of a few things... true love still exists (revelation from a head over heels friend on the phone updating me on her love life), I spent the weekend by the ocean, I have friends who will stick around for life and I am a size 10 even though I frequent KFC and realised that thankfulness is the greatest antidote to misery. What are you thankful for?